Home, Learnings, and A Bit of Discernment
I'm back.
Back to my beloved nest in northern Michigan, just in time to witness the first flowerings of spring. The lilacs are not out yet and the birds are busily dashing to and fro re-building their own homes of comfort for the arrival of new little ones. I do love spring.
After a true 30-day sabbatical so much is brewing in me that I hardly know where to begin. Suffice it to say it was a time of great discovery. Exploring new terrain in the tropics, diving deep into my own inner landscape. Detangling old patterns and establishing new habits.
I wrote in my journal every day, sitting beneath the protective bows of a 100-year-old "Bodhi Tree." It was heaven on earth. (And, yes, a book was born. Hurrah! Now for the rewrites ...)
I stayed away from the computer. Walked. Read. Filled my well with a beautiful blend of silence, bird song, and recordings of Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes' new offering, "The Dangerous Old Woman."
I re-created myself. Enough so that I cannot be and live as I did before I left ...
I wish every woman on earth could have the luxury of going away for an extended period of time like this to learn who she really is. Nothing to do but what she absolutely wanted to do. No obligations, tugging hands, or "shoulds" looming on the horizon. Each of us deserves this kind of time away because we give so much of ourselves to others, to life, in service to the betterment of this world. We can so easily lose our selves along the way.
And even though I consider myself a conscious and awake woman, the time spent under the Tree showed me that there were bones I needed to collect—life force I needed to breathe back into myself—and that only I could do this. I did ...
Yet, when we re-enter the stream of life we are apt to slip and slide once again. We pick up our old habits as easily as one bends to gather up a twig or a weed, without even thinking. We jump back into the fray, get on the computer, make appointments, and fill our days with bustling activity. Before we know it we are tired all over again and in need of another retreat.
I have witnessed that tendency in myself this week and vow not to flail about in the headwaters of life. I will float free and unencumbered so that I can stay faithful to this wildly creative self who emerged in the tropics. And so, because I have made this vow, I have made some difficult decisions. Good for me, perhaps challenging for others.
~ One of the decisions is to maintain this website simply as a website—one which is updated regularly—but does not contain a blog. I wish to continue to simplify my life, give my all to the books which are being birthed, and not spend so much time online. So, I invite you to visit my other blog: Awake is Good. I will be there, fairly regularly, with news from my nest.
~ I will be "teaching" minimally for the rest of the year. Traveling very little. Which means fewer program offerings out in the big wide world. So please stay tuned to my Calendar so you can find me when you need me. :-) Mostly, I'll be home writing—either at the beach or in the garden.
One of the passions that was resurrected in me during the time under the Tree was the art of the reflective essay—based on what Nature was revealing to me about life in that moment. It is the type of writing many of you say you enjoy and I will be doing more of that.
~ I will be blogging less. I discovered that so much time online "jazzed me up." Made my mind very cluttered and busy. It prevented deeper musings from coming forth and, you know me, I'll all about plunging the depths and writing from that magical place. So if you have a blog, please don't feel offended if I appear absent. Though, who knows, I may take up lurking and just send you whooshes of love through the air waves. You are always in my heart ...
That's it for now. Dinner duty calls. Yes, some things never change and I have a hungry husband who does love my cooking. Despite what some may think, there is much sacredness in the mundane—even in meatless meatloaf!
Beginning next week, please visit me at Awake is Good. I will look forward to catching up with you there. I'll be sharing some of my retreat insights ...
With Love and Joy,
Jan
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